It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
