he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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