So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize