Swine flu. Run for my life!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.