i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
