Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
