i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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