you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
