I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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