literally had 100 drinks last night.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
