dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
