wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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