I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You need Xanax blowdarts
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
