road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
