we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize