we're blogging at a bar
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Life is so much better after having sex.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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