So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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