Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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