Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
