Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
