He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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