Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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