go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
