I heard we made out
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
