I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
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She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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