i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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