I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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