Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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