i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
