I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
