you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
