My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
