so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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