This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
