yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize