walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
