Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
