I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
