I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
this boner is exhausting
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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