I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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