She's JV to your varsity
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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