OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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