shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
