Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone