hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3