community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
