like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
