Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize