Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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