ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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