I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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