Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
