She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she told me i tasted like america
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
