You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
