i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
