He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm getting married
To pizza
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
