Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
