Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
