Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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