Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize