is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize