i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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