do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
