I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...