He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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